Is this sacrifice necessary? Am I wasting my life or am I making one? 

I’m being draw thin by meeting expectations and at the same time I feel like I’m not living up to countless.

#drama queen saga, summer 2012 edition.

Will be doing this in t-2 hours at home…and eating lasagna and watching mystery shows

(Source: chemicalsbetweenus, via natehammond)

sometimes we just need to accept there are ups and downs. why is always so surprising? sometimes when you hope, you get slapped in the face. And sometimes maybes become no. but sometimes that hope gets turned into something beautiful and those maybe becomes a yes.

we keep playing the game - because we just might win the lottery.

until then, I’m learning to accept the fact that you just might have to get slapped into the face a couple times before you win. 

It is infinitely harder to learn something on paper and in textbooks that is so closely tied to human experience and connection. The reality, consequences, and impact is sucked out. Reading about poverty, ADHD, or conduct disorder is not even close to knowing someone in abject poverty, or a family struggling with an ADHD child, or a parent who is being constantly berated by their child with conduct disorder. Sometimes we need to step back from notes and textbooks and remember why we are even studying. 

1. Go to a movie.

2. Poke my eyes out. 

3. Go to a coffee shop.

4. Do homework in a coffee shop. 

5. Drive somewhere, anywhere.

6. Clean my parents’ house.

7. Clean my dog.

8. Take a test.

9. Go to a staff meeting. 

10. Sit in lecture.

12. Go on a date.

13. Get sunburned.

14. Babysit.

15. ….anything. 

the present has ruined the past and the bitterness and distance became normal. care, kindness, and love is now weird. but we must break the walls we established in agreement with the Enemy. we told ourselves that coldness was the only option and we treated disregard as safety. we must now come into agreement with what God established for relationships - that love would be deeper than romance, that kindness would be more genuine than manipulation, and that relationships would be more than just “us”. they would be centered on the God of the universe. 

normal must be changed. normal must be found again. normal must be taken back from the Enemy.